{Note: I’m experimenting with a my tagline. What do you think of the new tagline I’m play with today?}

Mommy Mystic (@mommymystic) introduced me to Holistic Mama (@holisticmum) on Twitter today and I wanted to share two inspiring things I found on Holistic Mama‘s blog.

1. Mindful Mama, Authentic Self

I found a moving post that truly spoke to me as a mom. Holistic Mama wrote about those natural moms, the ones that are fulfilled all the time by the time they spend with their children. She described them as being able to “do copious amounts of floor-time” and “they don’t concern themselves much with their own needs”.

Floor time kills my back, so I quickly new I did not fall into this category.

Then she wrote about another group of moms. A group of moms I could relate to. I felt as if she was in my room and somehow she knew my deepest emotions and secrets. This is how she described “a mother who is a different creature“…

“Then there is a mother who is a different creature. She spends a lot of time pondering her children and their lives. She analyses her choices. She is not content with having someone else raise them (sometimes, to educate them). She wants to be with her children but she can’t sit through lengthy floor-time. She has many personal needs and sees all the needs of her child. She desperately needs to give expression to other aspects of herself. Alone time is almost always for creativity (in the broadest sense). She is not fulfilled by her mothering role. She is a mindful mother, but she is more. She often struggles with the conflicting aspects.

The latter is me. I’m attempting to find balance and peace with this. And to see the different aspects not as conflicting, but as simply different, challenging (which is a good thing), but ultimately all symbiotic.”

Powerful powerful words! I love being a mom. I love my children beyond measure. And, I am more. I am a mom and I am more than a mom. In this culture, I often wonder if it is okay for me to be saying that. Why does it feel as if I am going to be judged for even writing that? I do struggle with these conflicting aspects…which is why I believe as moms, we need to CREATE A BALANCE.

I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments section.

If you can relate to Holistic Mama’s words, I strongly recommend heading over to Holistic Mama’s blog so you can read the entire post (there much more to this amazing most). At the bottom of her post she writes “There are others…let’s connect. (add yourself if you’re this mama type). I already added myself to the list along with the following 15 amazing moms…

Jump on over and join us!

1. Mel @ Clutter to Shine
2. Kristy @ Mommys Gems
3. Janice @ Crystal Child
4. Randi @ Mystic Witch Earth Mama
5. docwitch @ Dark Side of The Broom
6. Lisa @ Edenwild
7. Lisa @ 5 orange potatoes
8. Stacy @ Mama – Om
9. Tracy @ Tracy Stokes
10. Alexis @ Taking the Lid off the Sun
11. Angie @ The Artist The Mom
12. Melissa @ Blended Not Stirred
13. Jen at Under The Big Blue Sky
14. Lisa @ Mommy Mystic
15. Jo @ Shapeshifting

2. Thankful Anyway Thursday

Holistic Mama also has a weekly post called Thankful Anyway Thursday, which is an opportunity to find gratitude and thankfulness in…”the crap”. It’s a chance to be thankful for the stuff that initially upsets you, annoys you, or generally makes me go, ARGH! She encourages us all to find thankfulness in confusion, stress, anxiety, and ruts.

I love the idea and plan to join her on Thursdays (and will blog about it on Thursdays when I can).

Click here if you would like to join her too!

If you are a mom and feel as if you are also more than a mom, share your thoughts in the comments section. Let’s create a converation.

photo credit: Cajie

My word for 2009 has been “light” – I want to be a light in my own life, a light in my children’s lives, and I want to shine light onto the world. I’m now thinking about my word for 2010…and I’m considering the word Discipline. How can I use discipline to improve my personal practice of life balance and how can I use discipline to best use my time to serve others?

In the spirit of discipline, I have invited personal trainer Marci Lall from http://www.marcilall.com to share 3 essential tips to sticking to a healthy lifestyle when the demands and obligations you face on a daily basis can make it incredibly difficult to stay on track.

Here are Marci’s 3 essential tips to follow…

1: Be Realistic

“This tip is very important. Don’t try to make over your whole life all at once, do it in small pieces. Instead of deciding today that you’re going to be the epitome of healthy living tomorrow, set small goals for yourself.”

2: Set the Goals

“The first thing you want to do to start living a healthy lifestyle is eat better, take a close look at what you eat in a day. Don’t get too upset when you make mistakes. Instead say, I want to eat a healthier lunch every day. 

Buy things like apples and snack size peanut butter and drink plenty of water. Peanut butter is going to provide you with the good fats and protein that you need to get through the afternoon and the apple is going to give you the sugar kick that will give you more energy… and the water, it’s good for you in more ways than I have space to list.

The point is, pick a small goal and deadline to achieve that goal. Once you accomplish and maintain it, start with your next goal.”

3: Workout Often

“You’ve heard this one many times before.  It’s not hard to get a workout in.  If you have a backyard or small space in your house you can easily perform body-weight exercises like squats and push-ups to help strengthen your body and also shed a few pounds. 

You don’t have to spend an hour working out, if done correctly you can complete a very effective workout session in about 20-30 minutes!

Regardless of how busy you get it is very important that you take the time to make healthier choices. You don’t have to be a health goddess in a day, take small steps… realistic milestones, so that you can live a healthier lifestyle with ease and be able to stick with it.”

This is Your Moment

Today I have a bold request for you – I am requesting you commit to doing three things this week towards your healthy lifestyle goals. If you accept this request, let us know what you will be doing to honor this request in the comments section of this post. 

Personally, I commit to drinking more water, taking a multi-vitamin each day, and getting back into my workout routine after traveling on the road for the past week.

“Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.”
~ Buddha ~

Note: I’m going to refer to my oldest son as Bug in this post.

My 5 year old son, Bug, started kindergarten last Monday and it’s been a wild week filled with all sorts of emotions. The first day of kindergarten provided me with a huge reminder of the importance of living in the moment and simply BEING in the moment with my children.

Last Week I Heard About Potential Mommy Tears

During the parent information night on August 25, one of the co-presidents of the PTA told us the moms (and some dads) would probably cry on the first day of school. She even encouraged us to prepare our children for our tears. As that point, I wasn’t sure if I was really going to cry, but I went home and told Bug not to be surprised if he saw my tears on this first day of school. He was very surprised that I would even consider crying as I tried to explain they would be tears of joy, tears of a proud mama, similar to tears that are shed at a wedding.

Just the mention of tears got him a bit nervous.

The Morning Arrived – Walking Bug to His First Day of School

On Monday, August 31, my husband and I walked my son to kindergarten. The sun was shining, the air was crisp, and we all had smiles on our faces. The first two-thirds of our walk to school was calm, timeless, precious, and the closest thing to perfect. We were a happy, healthy, and safe family, with all our freedoms, living in the United States of America walking to one of the best elementary schools in Illinois. Life was good, each moment, each breath was down right perfect.

Turning the Corner Towards the School

I started getting nervous butterflies in my stomach by the time we reached the edge of the school. I was so excited for Bug to go to kindergarten, we have been waiting for this exciting moment for so long, but suddenly as a mom, as we turned the corner, I wanted time to stand to still. Actually, I think I wanted to turn back the clock. Each step we took closer to the school, I wanted to run the other way. I wanted to turn back time to grab on to the past (to my 4 year old Bug, to my 3 year old Bug, to my 2 year old Bug, to my baby Bug).

Getting In Line for His Classroom

When we finally arrived to the school, Bug had to stand in line until his teacher walked the entire class inside the school. I stood in line with my son not knowing any of the other students or the other parents. It made me nervous that Bug did not know anyone else in his class. In a flash, like a stab to my chest, I realized my baby was moving into the next huge phase of his life…without me…and without anyone else he knows…and the elephant tears started pouring out of my eyes.

Thank G-d I was wearing big ass sunglasses. I had to excuse myself twice from the line to wipe my eyes and blow my overly emotional mommy nose.

I was able to put myself together before Bug actually walked into school and vanished behind the school doors. I wasn’t expecting my heart to sink on the first day of kindergarten…but not only did part of my heart sink, a part of it broke.

The Emotional Flood Gates of Motherhood

Yes…I’m admitting it…and I’d like to know if there is anyone else out there that did the same…

I cried throughout the day during Bug’s first day of kindergarten.

Yes, I work from home and was alone all day, so maybe I wouldn’t have cried if I was in an office environment all day.

I Didn’t Cry Because I was Sad. I wasn’t Sad.

I really wasn’t sad. I was purely emotional. Sending Bug to kindergarten was an extremely emotional experience for me. I think it stirred up so many different emotions that it resulted in tears. The change was overwhelming that it knocked me down and took my breath away.

Instead of fighting the tears, I just allowed myself to BE with my tears.

Finding the Present Moment

Eventually, the tears stopped and I rode my bicycle built for two over to the school to pick up Bug.

Bug and I had an amazing late afternoon together hanging out, talking about school, and having our first after school snack together. I was no longer missing the younger years of Bug but was simply being in the present, cherishing the precious innocence of what he was experiencing as a kindergartener.

Is There a Balance?

Ever since the first day of kindergarten last week, I’ve been trying to figure out the balance between letting my son move into the bigger world and wanting to hold him tight and protect him from the world. I know somewhere in between is a fine balance that results in a raising a strong independent man who will contribute great things to our society. The million dollar question…where exactly is that balance?

This is Your Moment

Have you experienced taking your child to kindergarten? Did you cry? Were you emotional? Please, tell me, will this emotional phenomenon happen again on the first day of first grade and second grade and third grade, etc?

Have you discovered your own balancing act of giving your child freedom while also protecting him/her from the world? I’m sure all moms would love to hear your thoughts in the comments section!

So many of us move through life helping others, giving to others, and being there for others. These are all beautiful things that bring out our generosity, our free giving spirit, our goodness, our kindness, and our big hearts.

The power of giving is strong. Giving makes the world a better place. It feels good to give to others. It is a huge part of my personal live and you see it everywhere in the blogosphere. People are helping people and I believe the more you give the more the universe will give back to you.

I get this.
I believe this.
Giving is part of my inner workings.

And still, I’m concerned.

I’m concerned that we may be missing something (or someone). I’m concerned we may be giving so much to others that we don’t have enough to give to ourselves.

I believe there must be a balance {a balance between giving to others and self nurturing}.

Do you give yourself permission everyday to take care of yourself?

Do you give yourself permission everyday to enjoy “Me Time”?

I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments section.

photo credit: James Jordan

photo credit: euart

Haider Al-Mosawi from Personal Growth Map recently wrote a guest post over at Zen Habits. He first explains why you need to have balance in your life and then shares how a personal growth map can help you achieve your life balance goals.

Why Do You Need Balance In Your Life?

Here is what I’m taking away from Haider Al-Mosawi’s case for practicing the art of life balance…

• All areas of your life are important and none of them should be neglected.

Haider Al-Mosawi’ writes: “Imagine neglecting your health for one year while you focus on your work.”

• Each of us lives a holistic integrated life. Your body, mind, and spirit are connected. Different areas in your life are intertwined and neglecting one area can disable other areas in your life.

Haider Al-Mosawi’ writes: “You can advance your career by having good social connections and you can enhance your family life by having good health and vitality.”

Your family life can also suffer if you are neglecting your health and live in a state of exhaustion.

• If you are not paying attention to certain areas in your life, you will feel out of control. This happens to me all of the time. If I lose sight of eating healthy, chips and ice cream are somehow consumed. If I’m not focusing on my fitness goals, I sit on the couch instead of moving my body. If I’m not making an effort to spend time with friends and family, I don’t get out and socialize.

Haider Al-Mosawi’ writes: “One of the main reasons why we experience stress in life is because we feel we don’t have control over our lives.”

• Practicing the art of life balance can bring more happiness into your life. It is not about reaching some end of the rainbow state of balance, it is about experiencing the life balance journey.

Haider Al-Mosawi’ writes: “No matter how minor the activity is, as long as you are advancing each life area, you are making progress and experiencing a degree of balance in your life.”

Although there are many components to focus on (body, mind, spirit, social, etc) I think there is one component of the life balance journey that we cannot afford to forget.

And that is…

STILLNESS.

photo credit: Baloulumix

Share your thoughts in the comments section….

Why do you need balance in your life and what action steps are you taking to advance in different areas of your life?

As a mommy, blogger, life coach, change management consultant, daughter, student, and friend (I’ll stop here but my list can go on and on) it is difficult to find that essential quality time to spend with my husband. I guarantee that I am not alone.

I am a strong believer in having my marriage be part of my practice of life balance. Because our lives are so busy and because we have two children under the age of six, it is probably the area within my practice of life balance where I struggle the most.

Fortunately my awareness of this imbalance has transformed into action. My husband and I are mindful that at the end of the day it is very easy to be too tired for quality time. Our quality time comes in bursts of seconds and minutes instead of hours and days, but we are mindful and appreciate that our quality time is growing day by day and week by week.

Would you like more quality time for your marriage?

This week I decided to sit down with relationship coach Corey Allan from Simple Marriage. It turns out that we approach life balance and marriage with similar philosophies. As you probably know, I believe putting yourself first is the key ingredient for practicing the art of live balance. Corey believes “learning to take care of yourself more allows for more passion and adventure in marriage.” He goes on to say “when this is done by both members of the relationship, you experience the best in both of you.”

Do I dare state that practicing the art of life balance will improve your marriage? This is very exciting news!

Read the following interview with Corey Allan to learn more…

Hi Corey, thank you for allowing me to interview you.  Can you tell me a little more about yourself, how you got interested in relationship/marriage coaching, and why you created SimpleMarriage.net?

I’ve been married to my wife Pam for 16 years this May and we have 2 children ages 2 and 4. My formal training is as a marriage and family therapist and I have worked with a lot of couples in crisis throughout the past 8 years. While I enjoy helping people in crisis, many couples wait too long to seek professional help so by the time they get to my office one or both of them have already given up on the marriage. I ventured into the marriage coaching world in order to assist people in experiencing more in marriage. That’s where SimpleMarriage.net comes in. I believe everyone can get more out of life and marriage. So at my blog you’ll find articles about marriage, relationships, communication, sex, fun, etc.

You write about simplifying marriage. Can you help us understand what it means to have a simple marriage?

The intent of Simple Marriage is to help you keep the important things in focus. We live in a world where the important things can be easily replaced by the immediate. By keeping a focus on what’s important in life, everything seems to fall into place. I believe life is a choice, so is marriage. I can choose what happens in my life and my marriage. That’s the key to experiencing more.

Can you share one tip on how to create a simple marriage?

It all boils down to how you view what goes on in marriage – marriage is designed to help us grow up as people. When you have the right view of things it helps a lot.

For me, life balance means balancing the needs of my inner authentic self with the needs of all of the other things that demand my time, attention, and energy. How do you suggest I balance the needs of my marriage with all of the other things that demand my time, attention, and energy?

If you don’t take care of yourself, you have very little to give to others. The most common thing I see is people who forget to take care of themselves. As for balancing the things in our life, the best thing I can say is to learn the valuable art of saying no. It’s a way to claim things for yourself, your marriage, and your family.

We talk about “putting yourself first”. Would you suggest putting your marriage second? Even before your children?

There are times when you should be first and everything else second. I believe that one of the best things you can do for your children is model a great marriage. They benefit more from this than the focus being on them all the time.

How do you find time to build a passionate and adventurous marriage?

First, it begins with each of us working to build a passionate and adventurous life, both apart and together. By doing this, we have discussed more about each other’s dreams and passions, especially where they align. We believe we are on this journey together and we seek to enjoy the ride along the way.

We’ve also been blessed to have people who love our kids and every so often will take them for a weekend which allows us to have a couple of days together. We also work to be together almost every evening as a family first, then once the kids go to bed, we hang out just the two of us. We also email or talk briefly throughout the day as well as have lunch together at least once during the week. It’s work to make schedules connect but since it’s important to us, we make it happen.

I am a busy mom. Can you suggest ways for busy parents to incorporate passion and adventure into their marriage?

Planning things to do together that you both enjoy provides a couple of things. One it’s a great adventure or activity to enjoy together and second, it gives you both something to look forward to and work towards. The other thing is to find little moments to steal together. Sit at the kitchen table and talk, share a glass of wine, sit outside, take a walk. All of these help you slow down a bit which increases the possibility for more passion.

What other information would you like to tell Create a Balance readers?

Shameless plug warning – I’m releasing a marriage book today designed to assist you in creating and experiencing more in marriage and life. For more information, head over to Simple Marriage. Thanks.

Thank you, Corey, for sharing your thoughts on marriage, passion, and balance. For more tips on experiencing a simple marriage, go to SimpleMarriage.net.

In honor of my vision of having CreateaBalance.com be all things life balance, I am delighted to introduce you to Erin Loechner from Design for Mankind and her fabulous new video on life balance.

Erin takes a creative look at how busy artists, designers, and bloggers practice the art of life balance and welcomes workaholics to turn their brains off every once and awhile to unwind and have some fun.

This whimsical video is filled with practical life balance tips and honest heart-felt stories about the life balance journey.

Bravo Erin! I love it, love it, love it. May Erin and Design for Mankind be an inspiration to us all.

Design For Mankind – Dialogue Episode 1

In spirit of this video what does your work/family/personal life balance look like and what happens when you drop the ball?

Commenting on Blogs – Is There a Balance?

So Many Blogs, So Little Time

My name is Stacey and I love to blog. I love the community, the comments, the conversations, and the sharing. I love the creative process of writing a post, checking my stats, and meeting new people. I value my blogging friends beyond measure. I love reading other blogs, commenting on other blogs, and experiencing the power of other online communities. Do you get it? I absolutely love blogging.

I also love balance. I love the notion that nothing consumes my life and that there is open space throughout my day for me to be still, be aware, and be in the moment.

So, I am in the midst of seeking balance. There are so many blogs and so little time. I want to work my way down my Google readers list, be wrapped up in other blogs, and be fully present when I read and comment on other people’s blogs.

In the spirit of creating a balance, I started looking at the extremes.

I can stop commenting on other blogs.

This option physically made me frown. I enjoy reading and commenting on other blogs. I would feel left out of the party. And I wonder if people would stop visiting CreateaBalance.com if I stop leaving comments on other people’s blogs. Bottom line: I don’t want to stop commenting.

I can dedicate one hour a day to comment on other blogs.

This option took my breath away. Back when I was spending an hour a day commenting, I literally stopped exercising. The hour I had to myself early in the morning or late at night went to commenting on other blogs. I am now exercising and want to protect my workout schedule before it slips away again. Bottom line: I don’t want to comment an hour a day.

Blogging is a two-way street, but I don’t want to get stuck in a traffic jam.

So I will embrace a happy medium that honors my desire to practice the art of life balance. I acknowledge my comments will not be ubiquitous across the blogosphere this year. I accept my decision and welcome the benefits that I will discover from my actions.

Ten Ways To Create a Balance While Commenting on Blogs

1. Reduce the number of blogs you regularly read.
2. Remember, you don’t have to comment on every post.
3. Shift your perspective. Comment authentically, not because you want to entice a blogger into a game of blogging tag.
4. Mix it up and support bloggers using social media like Stumble Upon and Twitter.
5. Show your support to bloggers by referencing them via link love.
6. I think it’s worth mentioning twice, use twitter.
7. Don’t comment just for the sake of getting your name out there. You will eventually get commenter’s burnout. Comment to add your voice to the conversation.
8. Find other ways to thank your readers besides reading and commenting on all of their posts.
9. Create and live by your blogging goals and values. Time is precious, so use your time wisely.
10. Build a commenting strategy.

I am not advocating the end of commenting.

I LOVE all of the comments I receive and want my comments section to grow and grow and grow. I encourage participation, collaboration, and thriving communities. I recognize it is difficult to grow a community without comments.

I hope you continue to comment on CreateaBalance.com.

This Is Your Moment!

I’m writing this post to simply encourage you to think about your commenting behavior and to self reflect on the following questions…

• Why do you comment on blogs?
• What is favorable about commenting on blogs?
• What is not favorable about commenting on blogs?
• How does commenting energize you?
• How does it exhaust you?
• Is commenting on too many blogs disrupting your life balance?