This is an original post written by contributing writer Kelly.

Humans are by nature very relational.  From the moment we’re born, we reach out and cry for someone to hold and comfort us.  As we mature physically and emotionally, we are able to meet more of our own needs.  However, there is and always will be a void in our hearts that only others can fill.

As wonderful as my husband is, he can only meet so many of my emotional and relational needs.  I need friends.

Friends don’t just happen.

I’m not talking about people you know, or people that you might chat about the weather with.  Nor am I referring to the woman you see every week at the church nursery and share with.  I am talking about a friend, someone with whom you can share every last detail of how you’re feeling and still know you’re loved.

The Seven Levels of Intimacy: The Art of Loving and the Joy of Being Loved by Matthew Kelly discusses relationships in depth, yet with a profound sense of simplicity.

Kelly describes how humans yearn for relationships, yet fear them, due to the fact that relationships require self-revelation.  Allowing ourselves to be known can be frightening and risky, surely no one wants to be hurt.

All of this puts us moms in a precarious situation.  How do we find these nourishing relationships?  Where do they begin?  How do we find the time to nurture them?

Potential relationships can happen in a variety of ways.  I met one of my very best friends as I was attending a baby shower across the street from her house.  It was clear that we had at least one thing in common…we were both about 7 months pregnant.

Her toddler was running, buck-naked, around the side of the house as she chased him.  I snickered at the scene across the street, not sure what to think of this woman.  Today, we share a deep level of relational intimacy.  She will still love me no matter how ugly I get.  That was 14 years ago, and the relationship we share today took much time and investment.

Friendships can go through many cycles as time goes on.  The friend I was just referring to now has grandchildren and in-laws.  I am not quite to that point yet.  While I am a close family friend, her life is much more complicated than it was when we met.  While we are closer than ever before, I don’t see her much.  We live about 50 miles apart now.

Yet, I share a small bit of her family with her.  Relationships with her adult children, as well as her in-laws have developed over the years.  I am so proud to know them all, and through them, my friendship with her deepens.

Ways to Find Potential Friends

*  Ask around about playgroups and try to find other moms with like interests.  While commonalities won’t keep relationships in the long term, it’s a great place to start.

*  Church is another great place to meet potential friends.  Sign up to work in the nursery or pre-school classes once a month.  Serving the church is the main objective, but I have formed many friendships this way.

*  Recreational venues are full of kids and moms!  We belong to a small private pool and I just love the relationships I have there.  The families are like-minded in many ways and it’s easy to get to know families.  There has been very little turn-over in terms of membership, so I know I’ll see the same people every year.

*  Get involved in a kid’s clothing sale with some other moms, they are always going on.

How to Get Started

*  Every mom likes to talk about their children.  Strike up a conversation with another mom about their child, something cute they did or said.

*  Another simple conversation starter is noticing a handbag, piece of jewelry or hair-style of someone that you would like to get to know…of course, be complimentary.

Time to Nurture

* Once you establish a bit of common interest, invite the mom out for coffee or a snack sometime.

*  Leave the kids at home!  Try to get to know the mom first. Children have a way of interrupting and making the conversation difficult.

*  Keep your expectations realistic and find out what your new friend’s ‘relational’ limits are.  Does she enjoy talking on the phone or can she find the time?  Will email or IM work better?  Skype is now something I use for long distance, even across town, relationships.  I have to make an appointment of sorts, so that I can block out the time, usually after the kids are in bed.

Friendships are important to our personal growth and it’s important to seek out healthy relationships that will give you a safe place to be yourself, as well as bless another with the gift of you!

Kelly Morris is a wife and mother to 9 children, 6 biological and 3 adopted, living in small town Ohio.  She can often be found blogging, writing, reading, cooking, gardening, digital scrapbooking and drinking good coffee.  Kelly authors “The Morristribe: Creating Balance for Busy Moms” and loves helping other moms find balance in their lives.

You’ve Got a Friend

~ Carol King ~

This is an original post written by contributing writer Lisa Hanneman.

I work full-time.  More than full-time during my “busiest” seasons and as maternity leave wrapped up and we moved to the suburbs, I asked my employer for the flexibility to work from home two days a week.  Being incredibly lucky to have a wonderful employer and some really great supervisors above me, my request was granted.  But, it was made crystal clear that working from home is a privilege and so I have always taken it very seriously.  Probably too seriously.  (The first few weeks I was afraid to go to the bathroom in case the phone rang.  Didn’t want anyone to think I was taking a nap, right?)

The benefits of working from home speak for themselves…

My son is still taken care of by my mother, but I gain a few hours with him or some time to work out.  I save about $12 a week on train tickets and who knows how much on dry cleaning, since I work from home in jeans.  If we have a delivery coming, I know when I’ll be here to accept it.  When the windows were replaced, I was able to supervise from my home office.  I can schedule pediatrician appointments more easily, rather than waiting weeks to get in on a Saturday.  I get some quiet and alone time in our usually busy house.  Yes, there are a TON of benefits.

However, lately I’ve found that my work-at-home days are becoming more stressful than the days I’m in the office.  Shocking, I know!  But, hear me out…

When I work at home I have a constant list of the things I’ll squeeze in before 9:00, during the lunch hour, or between 5:00 and my husband’s train pick-up time.  There is always a bill to pay, dry cleaning to pick up, or something to grab at the grocery store.  Working at home means I have to look past the piles of laundry hiding in the basement and forget about the fact that the carpet really needs the love of a vacuum.  And all that really stresses me out.  I’m not a big fan of cleaning and don’t itch to get it done, but it’s easier not to think about it when you’re in the safety of an office 20 miles away from your house.

I get most frustrated on the beautiful days, the days my son spends most of his time outside with my mom.  They go to the park, the farm, feed the ducks, run in fields, dig through sand, and have picnics…  All while I’m at home wishing I was with them.  Even if my e-mail is slow and I don’t have a ton to do, I’m strapped to my computer and phone.  And that is rough on a Friday in July when it’s sunny and beautiful.  It’s so much easier to feel cooped up and chained to your desk when you’re sitting in a cube.

Most people think that working from home must be amazing and hope one day to have the same privilege.  Now don’t get me wrong, it is a privilege that I appreciate, but as we enter into the spring and summer, I’m really trying to prepare myself for the days ahead and, if you’re thinking of working from home, you should too.  Before you dive in and assume that working from home will add balance to your life, make sure you have the right personality and the right employer to make it work for you.  Or it might end up stressing you out, too.  I know I’ll be better at it one of these days, I just have to give myself a break.

Lisa Hanneman strives for balance in a life overbooked by her husband, adorable toddler son, full-time job, friends, home projects, blogging, and busy social calendar.  Most weeks she manages to squeeze in a bikram yoga class with her best friend, but she only manages to get her hair cut once a year.  She dreams about volunteering, staying ahead of the laundry pile and dust bunnies, and a to-do list with only five items on it.  You can find her blogging about life as a rookie parent while laughing at herself on her personal blog, Hannemaniacs.

This is an original post written by contributing writer Daenel Vaughn-Tucker.

The bills are piling up, the kids are fighting, the husband is getting on my last good nerve and I just want to collapse on the floor in a ball and cry…  We’ve all had those days (and if you haven’t, wait, it’ll come).  So how do you renew yourself when you really want to just disappear?

You laugh. I’ll wait why you ponder this….

Yes, I said you laugh.  Not like a maniac (which I’m sure is what it’ll sound like initially) but like a woman who has heard a good joke.  I know you’ve heard the saying “Don’t sweat the small stuff,” well, it’s true.  There are things that are going to happen in our lives that we simply cannot control, so the only thing we can do is laugh and move on.

I draw my inspiration from Proverbs 31:25*, which states: “She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.”  This passage is a small part of a section that describes the character of a noble wife and whether you are a believer or not, isn’t it wonderful to think of yourself as a woman of strength and dignity who can laugh at the craziness of everyday life?  So next time you feel like you’re carrying the burdens of the world on your shoulders and your husband is complaining because you can’t find your “mojo” and the kids are wiping their noses on your skirt ~ laugh, long and hard.  You’ll feel better, I promise.

Daenel Vaughn-Tucker is a wife, mom, grandmother, librarian and history instructor, who has a quirky sense of humor and an unnatural obsession with coffee, shoes, handbags and pop culture.  She lives in the mountains of Pennsylvania with her husband, children and Squeekerz, a Jack Russell Terrier-Chihuahua mix.

You can read more from Daenel at her blogs:  Curious Child’s Library Wanderings and Living Outside the Stacks.

*Taken from the New International Version of the Bible

Women around the country are coming together to celebrate and experience the power of self-renewal.

You can now celebrate and experience the power of a self-care community with my Personal Renewal Group for Moms Virtual Tele-Circle. Based on the award-winning book “The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal: How to Reclaim, Rejuvenate and Re-Balance Your Life,” by Renée Trudeau, this Personal Renewal Group is a group life coaching program for moms . Topics will include:

• Reconnecting with Who You Are
• Strategies and Insights for Balanced Living
• Managing Our Energy, Saying “No” and Asking for Help
• The Transformative Power of Self-Care
• Reclaiming Adventure and Unleashing Your Creativity

TIME/DATE: Starts Thursday, June 3, 2010 at 8:30 PM CST

MEETINGS: 1st Thursday of each month for six months.

LOCATION: Virtual Teleclasses. Dial-in number is provided after registration.

COST: $54.00 for the six-month program, $12.00 to attend a single session.

REGISTER: Register at http://personalrenewalgroup.eventbrite.com.

QUESTIONS: Call 217-714-3023 if you have any questions. Additional details on the national program or book at SelfRenewalCircles.com.

FACILITATOR: ME! I’m a life coach and Renée Trudeau & Associates-Trained PRG Facilitator. My passion is to help women create space in their lives to celebrate their natural inner wisdom.

WHAT’S INCLUDED:

• Six phone-based workshops for you to feel empowered and supported to live your best life!
• Email coaching support between meetings.

Space is Limited.

Register Today!

This is a Sponsored Post written by me on behalf of 20th Century Fox. All opinions are 100% mine.

“Having children can make two people feel closer than they could have ever imagined. It can also put strains on a marriage – and other key relationships – that can cause that sense of closeness to radically change or even disintegrate.”
~ The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal by Renee Peterson Trudeau ~

Is Your Relationship with Your Partner a Priority?

As a working mother of two little boys, I have to admit that my relationship with my husband is not always my priority. I want it to be, but if I’m really honest with myself, I know that is not always the case. At the end of the day, after we worked, picked up the kids, cooked dinner, played with the kids, got the kids in bed, cleaned up the house, and paid bills, we are often exhausted and choose to chill on the coach together watching Survivor or Lost instead of physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually nurturing the connection between us. Do we have our moments? Yes. Can we do better at nurturing our relationship? Absolutely.

<See pictures of me and my husband, wedding photos included.>

How To Nurture Your Relationship with Your Partner

In the Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal, Renee Trudeau shares things you can do to help foster and nurture the connection between you and your partner. Later, during The Mom Renewal Project, I will try each of her ideas and blog about my experiences.

• Schedule (and keep) regular dates.
• Nurture yourself first, so you feel like giving to your partner.
• Touch each other every day.
• Create a bedroom that celebrates your marriage.
• Develop some ground rules or learn some tools for communicating with your partner.
• Connect every day for at least ten minutes.
• Go away alone together for the weekend or at least for twenty-four hours.

Start This Weekend

If you are a mom, I challenge you to intentionally nurture your relationship with your partner this weekend.

One idea is to get a sitter and go out for an engaging and fun date night. If you can’t find a sitter, can you swamp sitting services with some friends? For my next date night, I am planning on connecting with my husband over dinner at Moto Restaurant (recommended by Chicago social media expert Kim Moldofsky) and checking out Steve Carell and Tina Fey’s new Date Night Movie, which opens on April 9, 2010.

Based on the Cinema Blend review, it’s about a married suburban couple attempting to take date night off auto-pilot, and hopefully adding a little spice into their lives. But their date night goes awry, as they embark on a wild series of crazy adventures to save their lives…and their marriage.

Check out the trailer below and let me know if you see the movie this opening weekend.

This is Your Moment

Let us know in the comments section what you are going to do to nurture your relationship with your partner this weekend!

If you are interested in sponsoring a post or exploring other advertising opportunities with The Mom Renewal Project, please contact me stacey@createabalance.com.

If you believe that love has the power to change the world, and you want to be part of that change, then you’ll want to join this blog campaign!

Madly in Love with ME™, is on a mission to inspire every woman and girl to fall madly in love with herself… and your help is needed! Your words and influence are powerful, and together, we can make self-love hot, hip and hers for every woman and girl on this planet!

It is super easy and super fun to participate (cuz loving ME has got to be fun!) with lots of choices to choose from this year.

How To Get Involved…

• Blog and Giveaway – do the ME Necklace Giveaway and write a Self-Love Manifesta
• Video Dare Contest – sing the “I Love Myself” song on video, post, & enter to win
• Self-Love Starter Kit – download a FREE kit full of self-love dares & adventures or post a banner to share with your community
• Events – throw your own Madly in Love with ME™ part or attend an event in San Francisco, Chicago or Orlando
• Affiliate Program – share our events and products & earn dollars
• Interview Christine – guest blogger, radio, tv, or written interview

To get started sign up for the Share the Love Program or contact Christine Arylo directly at <christine.arylo [at] daretoliveyou [dot] com>.

Use Mr. Linky below to let everyone know you are doing your part to inspire women and girls to fall madly in love with themselves!

Today is a new day for my health, my body, my weight, and my heart. Ever since I met Leah Segedie (@bookieboo) at TypeaMom last fall, I’ve be watching moms involved with #Mamavation get healthy and lose weight.

I’ve been watching from my sofa, from my kitchen table, and from a distance.

I’ve been extremely inspired by Stacie from The Divine Miss Mommy (@StacieinAtlanta on Twitter) and Renee from Cutie Booty Cakes (@ReneeJRoss on Twitter) and many other moms as they shared and share their get fit challenges and successes each week online.

So today I am finally able to listen to my natural inner wisdom and pledge my commitment to the #mamavation Sistahood.

Today I’m expanding my circle of support to get fit and lose weight. I’m also going to start shedding light on what I have not been doing and what I want to be doing to move forward towards my ultimate fitness goals.

I want to lose weight.

I will be writing about my weight loss challenges and successes, but I don’t just want to focus on weight loss.

I want to focus on getting healthy and fit!

How I Got Here…

After my 3 year old was born, I joined Weight Watchers. I gained almost 60 pounds during the pregnancy and lost over 75 pounds with Weight Watchers. In September, 2008, I hit the top of my weight range and declared that to be my goal weight. I then became a Lifetime Member and maintained my weight for the past 16 months. Although I celebrate the fact that I have not gained weight, it also frustrates me that I have not lost weight either.

In all honestly, the Weight Watchers goal weight I set is not my authentic goal weight. I still have 10-15 pounds I want to lose.

Where I’m Going…

• I’m going to create a Mamavation Monday post every week to explore my weekly successes and challenges as I begin to live the healthy lifestyle I was born to live.
• I’m going to be twittering about my healthy lifestyle successes and challenges using the hashtag #mamavation.
• I’m going to get involved with  Mamavation Mondays on MomTV at 7pm PST/9pm CST/10pm EST. I welcome you to watch the Mamavation Mom live on MomTV with the Mamavation Coaching Team.
• I’m going to connect with and support other moms involved with mamavation. I think this connection will probably be the most rewarding part of the process.

This Past Week

Goal – My goal was to become aware of my eating habits, how much I moved, and how healthy I truly felt throughout the day.

Challenges – I craved sugar and carbs all day, every day.

Accomplishment – I worked out for 45 minutes last night!

Check out Mamavation if you want to join me! Cheers to getting fit and to living a healthy lifestyle.

I Have a Dream

photo credit: gazzat

I received an assignment from my son’s elementary school to write a dream that I envision for my children. Here is my dream for my boys…

~ Dreams for My Children ~

My dream for you is a world that is free and filled with peace.

My dream for you is a life filled with happiness, giggles, safety, and health.

My dream for you is to live a life filled with gratitude, joy, and giving.

My dream is for you to grow up and live your authentic dreams,

to follow your passions, to live life fully, and to be surrounded by love.

Mama Forever!
Love Mommy

photo credit: Olivander

Writing down goals changed my life and it continues to improve my life every day. Last year, I wrote down the following goal…

I want to collaborate with successful and inspiring women.

The power of these written words drew amazing, successful, and extremely inspiring women into my life. Through TwitterMoms, I recently met and interviewed mompreneur Chandra Clarke, one of the founders of Scribendi, which is a professional editing and proofreading business that helps writers reach their highest potential.

Chandra inspired me to write down my BIG goals for finding even more authentic space in my life to pursue my BIG dreams. She told me to “go big or go home”. So before getting off the phone with her, I wrote down the following goal…

My goal is to find even more time to pursue my life coaching and social media coaching business.

I sat with my new goal for many days and then took action. In December, I asked my manager if I could start working 4 days a week instead of 5 in 2010…and he said YES!

I asked.

He said yes.

I now have more time in my life to pursue my life coaching and social media coaching business.

I now have life coaching clients! I now have social media coaching clients!

I’m now living my dream!

I’m living my dream because I intentionally wrote down my goals, which led me to listen to my natural inner wisdom.

Thank you Chandra.

Chandra also gave me the following advice as a working mom to help me push my mompreneur dreams up a notch…

• Create a detailed vision of success, otherwise it’s harder to get there.
• Book speaking engagements to meet clients.
• Hire an intern to free up your time to do the things you love.
  
• Remember short term sacrifice is worth long term goals.
• Take risks with your business.
• Routines help you stay focused.
  
• When starting a business, start with the end in mind.
  

Chandra loves working with mompreneurs to help them meet their communication and marketing needs. You can find Chandra at…

• Scribendi.com
• @Scribendi_Inc
• Chandra’s Humor Blog