Create a Balance

The thought of Monday mornings have been painful for me this summer. By Sunday evening I’m just getting into the groove of my summer love affair with my family. Splashing, dancing, kicking, running, laughing, and playing are but few of the fun action words describing my weekend w/ my boys. Watermelon, schwarma, ice cream, sushi, cantelope, smoothies, and popsicles are but a few of the festive nibbles describing my weekend meals and snacks. 

Sigh…..

As I prepare to send my kids off to school Monday morning, I pull out my bag of poems to reflect, refocus, and reconnect with life outside of my dream-like summer weekend. This week I’d like to share another poem that SARK shared with me during her Juicy Pens, Thirsty Paper workshop. It is a poem by Portia Nelson (1920 - 2001) and it reminds me to be more aware of where I am walking and whether I need to reconsider alternative roads. 

Autobiography in Five Short Chapters
By Portia Nelson

Chapter One
I walk down the street
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost… I am helpless,
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter Two
I walk down the same street,
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in the same place.
But it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter Three
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in… it’s a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

Chapter Four
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

Chapter Five
I walk down another street.

As a life balance enthusiast, I use many tricks to rummage the web for blogs that spark my interest. Today I found a web site called Life Balance, but the URL is http://kathrynworthingtonsmythe.blogspot.com. The first thing that I was drawn to was Kathryn’s definition of Life Balance:

“Life Balance: A feat we try to achieve while searching to be the best that we can be, while simultaneously raising our children to do the same. This is the equilibrium in our inner life force whereby our heartbeat matches the divine force that exists all around us. When this life balance peaks, our sense of peace, joy, love and wisdom acts as one with our very soul.” 

~Kathryn Worthington Smythe, http://kathrynworthingtonsmythe.blogspot.com

From what Kathryn’s blog has taught me about Kathryn, she is fighting the daily urge to run away to Paris, rent a chateau, and get a personal trainer named Pierre. After reading that, how could I not give her a spotlight on CreateaBalance.com?

And to any of you thinking about sharing your voice through a blog - stop thinking and start writing! Click here for information and resources about how to create a blog. 

In my Life Balance Report - May 2008 post, I admitted my poor score on staying organized and declared to readers that June will be better. So far, it has gotten worse. How do I balance household chores with wanting to spend all of my free time outside playing? Hmmmm….do I soak in the shade on a blanket reading freshly picked library books or sort through a laundry basket of clutter that has been gathered from every room in my house? After I put the kids to bed, do I read Real Simple (LOL - nothing is real simple) next to an open window with a summer breeze dancing into the air or do I get rid of the clutter that is covering almost every square inch of my floor? Hmmmmm….looks like there will be no balance in staying organized for me today.

I’m realizing most of my life balance goals are things I want to incorporate into my life. With staying organized, however, it seems like the reverse - I want to get clutter out of my life. I can admit the problem: I simply can not put things away where I found them. Some hardwiring in my brain must have gone haywire somewhere along the way.

Here is a glimpse of my reality. From where I am writing I can see:

• A winter purse that needed to be put away three months ago.
• Empty water bottles (hey, at least I’m drinking water).
• An empty gift box left over from Mother’s Day.
• My suitcase from Kripalu (still partially full).
• My flashlight from last week’s storm.

Ugggg. It’s such a drowning feeling. If my college roommate is reading this, I know she must be laughing at the memories of all of my clutter (back then we used to call it chachka) that loomed on   my side of our underground loft. I used to laugh at my mom when she made me clean my room to “get ready for the cleaning lady”. I thought that was the most ridiculous concept. I knew I hit rock bottom yesterday when I actually called the woman who cleans my house and cancelled for today….because I didn’t have the energy to “get ready for the cleaning lady”.

Am I doomed to be a clutter magnet?

NO! This is just a perfect example of life balance being a practice and not a goal or destination. Tomorrow is another day. Container Store here I come!

For all of you searching to find Monday balance, after a summer filled weekend, I’d like to share one of my favorite poems with you. I’m working on treating all of my grouchy life visitors honorably and with open arms. I recognize everyone and everything has some gift to offer, but sometimes I’m too exhausted to unwrap all the layers of grouchy gifts. 

So many years later, Rumi continues to inspire.

The Guest House
by Rumi

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

It appears I am taking a break from writing and instead sharing life balance news and posts found on the interest lately. Instead of resisting, I acknowledge this shift and welcome the possibilities of also becoming an online resource for life balance information. My juicy pens will come back, but for now, here’s the buss from the past week.

• CNN’s Work/Life Balance Calculator
• Life Balance is a Choice
• Work-life balance: not seeing integration as intrusion
• 63 Things To Do With Your Kids Before They Grow Up
• Career Life Balance Radio
• What’s More Important than Your Career?
  The Answer is Right Under Your Nose

My intention for the month of June is to join some sort of local face-to-face community, but I still can’t resist the opportunity to take part of a salubrious online learning community. Have you ever heard of iVillage’s iLearn courses? They incorporate lessons, assignments, quizzes and interactive course message boards providing an engaging learning experience. Here are two of their latest free online life balance classes:

FREE - Achieving Work-Life Balance
Session: June 9 - July 11, 2008
Instructor: Abbi Perets
“Do you feel like you have too much to do and are somehow missing out on the important things in life? This course gives you a practical, actionable guide to help you get a grip on your time so you can get the most out of every aspect of your life and create a healthy work-life balance.”

FREE - Taking Time for Yourself
Session: June 9 - July 11, 2008
Instructor: Sarah Sawyer
“Do you find yourself scheduling everything except time for yourself? Do you consistently overbook to the point of feeling constantly on the verge of overwhelm? Whether you are single, partnered, or a mother of a big brood, finding time to fill your own cup can be tricky. This course will teach you how to intentionally take care of you so you can more joyfully and capably tend to all the rest.”

Some of our mentors appear when we least expect them.

Llamagraphics just launched an iTunes channel with free audio life balance podcasts. Although these free podcasts are part of their marketing strategy for their life balance software, the podcasts include good tips if you are a busy person who wants to focus your attention on the tasks, projects, and goals that are most important to you.

Although the podcasts include content related to using their software, they also discuss topics of personal productivity, time management and managing the demands of work, family and personal life.

If you are an “audio” person and can deal with the Life Balance software hype, click here to listen to some of the podcasts > Life Balance Podcasts

Note: This is not an endorsement for Llamagraphics software.

Since returning from the Kripalu Yoga and Health Center, I have been trying to incorporate meditation into my hectic life style. I have decided to take baby steps to meditate 3 minutes a day. It’s actually amazing what 3 minutes of meditation can do for someone who plays so many roles in one day (mommy, full-time employee, wife, chef, maid, butler, chauffeur, and more).

So I encourage you to take a deep breath and experience this 3 minute meditation.

Many famous Make Money Online blogs, such as JohnChow.com and BloggerExperiment.com, post monthly income reports on their blogs. Inspired by this idea, I have decided to post monthly life balance reports onto CreateaBalance.com. I have been trying to determine the best way to quantify my life balance success and decided, for now, that it will be more instinctual and less mathematical.

Here are May’s Results:

TOTAL SCORE: 7.8
(0 = completely lost focus, 10 = intentionally practiced life balance)

EMBRACING MY SELF - 10!

Travel: I took my annual vacation without any friends or family. I traveled to Lenox, MA, stayed at the Kripalu Yoga and Health Center, and visited a great friend in upstate New York. I also looked into travel dates for my annual February family vacation.

Blogging: I give myself a 10 in this category for two reasons. First, I now have 9 people subscribed to my RSS feed. That may not seem like a lot, but at the end of April I only had 2. So subscribers to CreateaBalance.com skyrocketed 450% in May. I think that deserves a 10! Second, I started sharing my blog with friends and family. Click here to subscribe to my RSS feed.

NURTURING RELATIONSHIPS - 10!

Children: I continue to spend quality time with my boys. The challenge is to balance my time between them and important adults in my life. Some highlights for May with my boys were playing tennis, swimming, flying kites, visiting the botanic gardens, reading, laughing, going to the zoo, biking, and celebrating birthdays.

Husband: I give myself a 10 in this subcategory because for the first time ever my husband and I found a babysitter for our two sons and went on a date. Finding the right babysitter has not been an easy task.

Creative Community: This has been something I have been lacking my life. Thanks for SARK’s Juicy Pens Thirsty Paper workshop at Kripalu, I was blessed to spend 4 days with SARK and an incredible creative community. I am staying in touch with my new creative community and intend to find a local creative community to join during the month of June. Click here for information on SARK workshops!

Friendships: I went to a concert with one of my oldest and dearest friends, I went to the zoo with friends, and I traveled across country to visit friends.

MONITORING WELL BEING - 7

Exercise: My intention is to exercise 6-7 days a week. In May, I have drastically increased my movement and have been walking around 10,000 steps a day since May 23. I also reactivated my gym membership and have been walking on the treadmill 2-3 days a week (I still hate the treadmill, but it gets the job done).

Yoga: I won a lot of brownie points since I spent my May vacation at a Yoga center. Let’s see how well I do in June.

Weight: I went to 3 Weight Watchers meetings and lost 0.6 pounds this month. My goal is to lose 4 pounds in June.

MANAGING MONEY - 7

In May I began learning more about investing charts to find the right mutual funds for my retirement portfolio. Things like SMA (3-line), RSI, Optimal Controls, and Moving Averages are a little less scary and foreign to me. I have been using Fidelity’s tools to learn and MarketWatch’s Virtual Stock Exchange to practice.

STAYING ORGANIZED - 5

I rearranged my living space to create more zones for my children. This has made a huge improvement in our quality of life and has also created a toy-free zone in my family room.

I gave myself a 5 in this category because with all of the excitement and momentum in my other categories…I neglected my laundry routine, had messy kitchen and bedrooms, and gave into T.V. this month instead of cleaning up toys and putting away dishes. I did give myself 5 solid points, however, for outsourcing housecleaning and grocery shopping throughout the month of May.

Since this is the first time I have shared a monthly life balance report, I’d love to hear your feedback on this post. Thanks!

SARK asks women everywhere how we dare to be creatively fulfilled and successful? Her answer is “Because you have wonders inside that must be let loose, that is how you dare.”

This website is how I dare to live my creative dream each and every day. I accept that my dream and this blog will have days full of inspiration, insight, and laughter and I also accept that this blog will have days full of mistakes, detours, and the inability to impact anyone. I accept the entire package knowing I am living my dream and practicing the art of life balance.

A very wise woman introduced the following poem to me. I suggest printing it and reading it out loud as if you had written each and every word yourself.

Please comment on your emotional response to this exercise and poem.

So Much Happiness
by Naomi Shihab Nye

“It is difficult to know what to do with so much happiness.
With sadness there is something to rub against,
a wound to tend with lotion and cloth.
When the world falls in around you, you have pieces to pick up,
something to hold in your hands, like ticket stubs or change.

But happiness floats.
It doesn’t need you to hold it down.
It doesn’t need anything.
Happiness lands on the roof of the next house, singing,
and disappears when it wants to.
You are happy either way.
Even the fact that you once lived in a peaceful tree house
and now live over a quarry of noise and dust
cannot make you unhappy.
Everything has a life of its own,
it too could wake up filled with possibilities
of coffee cake and ripe peaches,
and love even the floor which needs to be swept,
the soiled linens and scratched records…..

Since there is no place large enough
to contain so much happiness,
you shrug, you raise your hands, and it flows out of you
into everything you touch. You are not responsible.
You take no credit, as the night sky takes no credit
for the moon, but continues to hold it, and share it,
and in that way, be known.”