Comments on: Being Selfish is the Secret Ingredient for Life Balance http://createabalance.com/the-secret-ingredient-for-life-balance-practice-being-selfish/ The Self-Renewal Project for Moms - Creating Space for Women to Listen to Their Natural Inner Wisdom Thu, 18 Mar 2010 04:12:51 -0600 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Sluggish to Replenished in 86 Minutes Flat | Create a Balance http://createabalance.com/the-secret-ingredient-for-life-balance-practice-being-selfish/comment-page-1/#comment-2342 Sluggish to Replenished in 86 Minutes Flat | Create a Balance Wed, 17 Dec 2008 22:21:02 +0000 http://createabalance.com/the-secret-ingredient-for-life-balance-practice-being-selfish/#comment-2342 [...] end of Gretchen’s post she encourages you to practice being selfish…”Some people worry that wanting to be happier is a selfish goal. To the contrary. [...] [...] end of Gretchen’s post she encourages you to practice being selfish…”Some people worry that wanting to be happier is a selfish goal. To the contrary. [...]

]]> By: Colon Cleanse Kim http://createabalance.com/the-secret-ingredient-for-life-balance-practice-being-selfish/comment-page-1/#comment-1901 Colon Cleanse Kim Sat, 29 Nov 2008 15:21:43 +0000 http://createabalance.com/the-secret-ingredient-for-life-balance-practice-being-selfish/#comment-1901 I do agree, to a certain extent Stacey. I think the key here is balance, most people take everything to extremes unfortunately. Colon Cleanse Kims last blog post..<a href="http://www.coloncleansinganswers.com/best-colon-cleanse-option/">Best Colon Cleanse Option?</a> I do agree, to a certain extent Stacey. I think the key here is balance, most people take everything to extremes unfortunately.

Colon Cleanse Kims last blog post..Best Colon Cleanse Option?

]]> By: Life's A Balancing Act | The Jungle of Life http://createabalance.com/the-secret-ingredient-for-life-balance-practice-being-selfish/comment-page-1/#comment-1118 Life's A Balancing Act | The Jungle of Life Mon, 13 Oct 2008 15:16:15 +0000 http://createabalance.com/the-secret-ingredient-for-life-balance-practice-being-selfish/#comment-1118 [...] believe that to provide great value to the world I need to take care of myself first. It’s the airplane/oxygen metaphor that I recently blogged about…you must first put on your own oxygen mask before helping others. [...] [...] believe that to provide great value to the world I need to take care of myself first. It’s the airplane/oxygen metaphor that I recently blogged about…you must first put on your own oxygen mask before helping others. [...]

]]> By: All Is Within » Blog Archive » It is Important to Be Selfish http://createabalance.com/the-secret-ingredient-for-life-balance-practice-being-selfish/comment-page-1/#comment-1110 All Is Within » Blog Archive » It is Important to Be Selfish Sun, 12 Oct 2008 18:24:30 +0000 http://createabalance.com/the-secret-ingredient-for-life-balance-practice-being-selfish/#comment-1110 [...] got thoughtful this afternoon, as I was reading a post by Stacey at Create a Balance. It was titled Practice Being Selfish...The title got my attention because I thought to myself selfishness is never the way to go [...] [...] got thoughtful this afternoon, as I was reading a post by Stacey at Create a Balance. It was titled Practice Being Selfish…The title got my attention because I thought to myself selfishness is never the way to go [...]

]]> By: Kelly@SHE-POWER http://createabalance.com/the-secret-ingredient-for-life-balance-practice-being-selfish/comment-page-1/#comment-948 Kelly@SHE-POWER Tue, 30 Sep 2008 14:19:17 +0000 http://createabalance.com/the-secret-ingredient-for-life-balance-practice-being-selfish/#comment-948 Motherhood was what taught me that we have to put our own needs into the mix and it's not being selfish, it's actually helping the whole family. We can't be there for our children, our spouses or our friends if we feel depleted, exhausted or we're sick and slowly going mad. My mother left our family when I was a child, so when I became a mom I was determined to be so frigging perfect that my son would never doubt for a millisecond that he came first. The problem was motherhood is such an adjustment anyway that it didn't take more than 18 months for me to start falling to pieces. I was tired, unfit, overweight, had terrible back and neck pain, and i was so hard on myself I alternated between crying and screaming. Everyone suffered, not just me and that's when I saw that I couldn't go on that way. I realized my mom had never taken care of herself when we were a family - she always put herself last - and I think in many ways that led to her drastic actions and to regrets which she has lived with for the past 25 years. I decided then that I would show my son that I may be his mom, but I'm a human being too. I have needs and they deserve attention, just like his, just like his dad's. I want to have so much inside of me to give the two of them and that means I need to give that same quality of care to myself. Wow, that turned into a bloody essay, didn't it? Kelly :) Motherhood was what taught me that we have to put our own needs into the mix and it’s not being selfish, it’s actually helping the whole family. We can’t be there for our children, our spouses or our friends if we feel depleted, exhausted or we’re sick and slowly going mad.

My mother left our family when I was a child, so when I became a mom I was determined to be so frigging perfect that my son would never doubt for a millisecond that he came first. The problem was motherhood is such an adjustment anyway that it didn’t take more than 18 months for me to start falling to pieces. I was tired, unfit, overweight, had terrible back and neck pain, and i was so hard on myself I alternated between crying and screaming.

Everyone suffered, not just me and that’s when I saw that I couldn’t go on that way. I realized my mom had never taken care of herself when we were a family – she always put herself last – and I think in many ways that led to her drastic actions and to regrets which she has lived with for the past 25 years. I decided then that I would show my son that I may be his mom, but I’m a human being too. I have needs and they deserve attention, just like his, just like his dad’s. I want to have so much inside of me to give the two of them and that means I need to give that same quality of care to myself.

Wow, that turned into a bloody essay, didn’t it?

Kelly :)

]]> By: Robin http://createabalance.com/the-secret-ingredient-for-life-balance-practice-being-selfish/comment-page-1/#comment-946 Robin Tue, 30 Sep 2008 00:52:57 +0000 http://createabalance.com/the-secret-ingredient-for-life-balance-practice-being-selfish/#comment-946 YES YES YES! There - I've said it - we can't help other people if we don't nurture ourselves. Robins last blog post..<a href="http://letsliveforever.net/2008/09/ice-and-global-warming/">Ice And Global Warming</a> YES YES YES!

There – I’ve said it – we can’t help other people if we don’t nurture ourselves.

Robins last blog post..Ice And Global Warming

]]> By: Practicing Being Selfish = Self Nurturing http://createabalance.com/the-secret-ingredient-for-life-balance-practice-being-selfish/comment-page-1/#comment-915 Practicing Being Selfish = Self Nurturing Fri, 26 Sep 2008 11:00:22 +0000 http://createabalance.com/the-secret-ingredient-for-life-balance-practice-being-selfish/#comment-915 [...] Create a Balance A Personal Development Blog. A Place to Embrace Your Sense of Self, Your Needs, and Your Passions « The Secret Ingredient for Life Balance - Practice Being Selfish [...] [...] Create a Balance A Personal Development Blog. A Place to Embrace Your Sense of Self, Your Needs, and Your Passions « The Secret Ingredient for Life Balance – Practice Being Selfish [...]

]]> By: BC Doan http://createabalance.com/the-secret-ingredient-for-life-balance-practice-being-selfish/comment-page-1/#comment-910 BC Doan Thu, 25 Sep 2008 23:24:16 +0000 http://createabalance.com/the-secret-ingredient-for-life-balance-practice-being-selfish/#comment-910 Stacey, Love the title, and I totally agree with you on being selfish in order to take care of yourself first! Take care Stacey,

Love the title, and I totally agree with you on being selfish in order to take care of yourself first! Take care

]]> By: Stacey / CreateaBalance http://createabalance.com/the-secret-ingredient-for-life-balance-practice-being-selfish/comment-page-1/#comment-908 Stacey / CreateaBalance Thu, 25 Sep 2008 22:35:17 +0000 http://createabalance.com/the-secret-ingredient-for-life-balance-practice-being-selfish/#comment-908 @Sarah – As I mentioned to J.D., I’m wondering if I need to soften my words from “being selfish” to “self nourishing”. I think “practice being selfish” makes a bold statement, but maybe it will turn too many people off from embracing the concept. <BR> @Writer Dad – What do you think it would take to catapult your wife to see and embrace that Ah-Ha moment of putting herself first? <BR> @Brian – I hear you. Someone needs to invent an oxygen mask fit for two. Not only do we need to put ourselves first, we also need to keep our significant relationships thriving. I believe putting ourselves first is the first step to being able to be fully present in any relationship. Thank you for sharing your story with me. <BR> @Grounded Fitness – Remember that you have a right to say no. Perhaps you can provide alternative suggestions to the people who are wanting things from you. I was recently reading an article on the Mayo Clinic website that talked about saying no. Here is what they had to say… “When you say no, you'll be able to spend quality time on the things you've already said yes to….Saying no will free up time to pursue other hobbies or interests…If you're overcommitted and under a lot of stress, you've got a much better chance of becoming sick, tired or just plain crabby, which won't benefit you or anyone else.” @Sarah – As I mentioned to J.D., I’m wondering if I need to soften my words from “being selfish” to “self nourishing”. I think “practice being selfish” makes a bold statement, but maybe it will turn too many people off from embracing the concept.

@Writer Dad – What do you think it would take to catapult your wife to see and embrace that Ah-Ha moment of putting herself first?

@Brian – I hear you. Someone needs to invent an oxygen mask fit for two. Not only do we need to put ourselves first, we also need to keep our significant relationships thriving. I believe putting ourselves first is the first step to being able to be fully present in any relationship. Thank you for sharing your story with me.

@Grounded Fitness – Remember that you have a right to say no. Perhaps you can provide alternative suggestions to the people who are wanting things from you. I was recently reading an article on the Mayo Clinic website that talked about saying no. Here is what they had to say… “When you say no, you’ll be able to spend quality time on the things you’ve already said yes to….Saying no will free up time to pursue other hobbies or interests…If you’re overcommitted and under a lot of stress, you’ve got a much better chance of becoming sick, tired or just plain crabby, which won’t benefit you or anyone else.”

]]> By: Grounded Fitness http://createabalance.com/the-secret-ingredient-for-life-balance-practice-being-selfish/comment-page-1/#comment-907 Grounded Fitness Thu, 25 Sep 2008 17:21:27 +0000 http://createabalance.com/the-secret-ingredient-for-life-balance-practice-being-selfish/#comment-907 I have the hugest problem saying NO to people. I need to take a day and just say no to everything anyone says to me. I htink it would be healing, and people would stop asking me for things. I'll probably lose some friends, or my job, but whatevs. Kelly Turner www.groundedfitness.com Grounded Fitnesss last blog post..<a href="http://feeds.b5media.com/~r/b5media/GroundedFitness/~3/Pv96VwN7G90/">The Difference Between Boys and Girls</a> I have the hugest problem saying NO to people. I need to take a day and just say no to everything anyone says to me. I htink it would be healing, and people would stop asking me for things. I’ll probably lose some friends, or my job, but whatevs.

Kelly Turner
http://www.groundedfitness.com

Grounded Fitnesss last blog post..The Difference Between Boys and Girls

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