Still look pregnant? Still feel pregnant? This post is for you!
It’s been 2 years, 5 months, 24 days, 10 hours, and 75 pounds since I delivered my second son. He was healthy and beautiful and ounces away from weighing ten pounds.
And for the last 2 years, 5 months, 24 days, and 10 hours I have continuously been harassed by strangers with questions and comments insinuating that I am still pregnant. To give you some insight, I’m going to start this week with a top ten list.
I’ll continue my belly journey this week as I celebrate reaching my Weight Watchers goal weight and my fears of what’s next (the need to maintain). I’ll also be exploring the realities moms have to face with their post pregnancy bodies. One of my realities is that I still look pregnant after 2+ years and after hitting my goal weight.
Top Ten Signs I May Always Look Pregnant
(To be clear, I am and was NOT pregnant during the following circumstances)
10. During an aerobics class, the instructor walked up to me in the middle of class and asked me (with her loud microphone) if I was expecting my first child.
9. A homeless person on the street asked me how the baby was kicking.
8. When I was assigned an exit row seat on an airplane I was told by a flight attendant “You obviously cannot sit in an exit row because you are pregnant.”
7. The dental hygienists assumed I couldn’t get teeth x-rays because she thought I was pregnant.
6. During a job interview the woman asked me when my baby was due (yes, this is illegal).
5. The first day of my art class, the instructor asked me when I was expecting.
4. While watching my son during his swimming class, another mother asked me when I was expecting.
Note: People never speak to me again once they have implied that I’m pregnant. They stop making eye contact! It’s like I’m stuck in a Seinfeld episode.
3. The nurse at the doctor’s office (just last week) asked me if I was pregnant. At first I thought it was a standard question until she apologized and was embarrassed after I told her I was not pregnant.
2. Walking with my kids at the airport, someone stopped me and asked “How do you do it with two kids and one in the oven?”
1. During a family photo shoot, the professional photographer asked me to suck my stomach in before he snapped a picture. His wife quickly replied ”Dear, you can’t suck in a baby”.
This is your moment!
Am I the only one who gets “accused” of being pregnant? Have you (or your wife) ever experienced this awkward situation? Why don’t these people just think I have a fat stomach and give me a break!?!
{ 39 comments… read them below or add one }
Stacey, I have had a few of such episodes when I put on weight after marriage. Well meaning relatives simply assumed that I was expecting. I have to mention over and over that I have just put on weight and I am NOT pregnant. And after that … I spend few hours listening to why I should get pregnant ! Lol !
Avani-Mehtas last blog post..Top 8 Motivation Hacks - #1
I had to laugh at a few.Thanks for sharing!
Ms last blog post..Finding Joy
Hi Stacey! Thank you for sharing this. Really.
I have goofed up (just once, thank heavens for that!) and asked a coworker if she was pregnant. Mind you, I was very new at the job still. She was so graceful about it that I could actually talk to her and laugh about how I had messed up along with her. I had not had my kids then … so I guess I really had no idea of just what a pregnant belly looks like. I am a LOT more careful now - I never assume! In defense of people who do that, I would like to say that they mean well …I think the thought of a baby really makes people feel happy and excited
I lost my baby fat but I know just how hard it is to lose and maintain weight. We have a high tendency to gain weight in our family, esp after a certain age - so I am not looking forward to that. It is amazing how far you have gotten after all that childbearing and pregnancy puts us through!
it only happened to me about 6 wks after delivering my first child…..I was alone at the store…….buying diapers…HELLO!…….and the cashier looked at my tummy and asked me when the baby was due! I was going through PPD and it totally made me cry for days.
Annettes last blog post..Informal Workout
OK, why can’t I believe this Stacey??? My wife - has she ever been accused while not pregnant (there was a time where we always seemed pregnant) — not that I know of (maybe she didn’t tell me) — but I do know it’s this very real fear I hear about every now and then…
Lances last blog post..Guest Post: What’s Your Best Effort?
@Avani-Mehta – You would think people wouldn’t ask.
@M – Yeah, I have had some good laughs from these too.
@Maya – I do know people mean well. Maybe I just have some sort of fabulous glow to me!
@Annette – I have gotten used to it, but it made me cry for days too when I first started hearing these comments and questions.
@Lance – Yes, it is all true. I don’t know why, but it’s real and it happens to me over and over again. Your wife is lucky she never experienced this bizarre phenomenon.
I’ll never understand the people who do that. I mean, it’s such a known rule to NEVER, EVER ask a woman if she’s pregnant.
But the little ones are so worth it, aren’t they?
Vered - MomGrinds last blog post..I Love San Francisco. Do You Like Where YOU Live?
I don’t understand how people think they have any right to make comments like that. I think it’s standard practice for dentists to ask women of child bearing age if they’re pregnant before giving them an X-ray, but everyone else was just way out of line. It’s good that you’re so even-tempered and have a good sense of humor Stacey
Marelisas last blog post..10 Snazzy Ideas on Simplicity
Hi Stacey - I’m really glad you wrote about this
I have always had a belly that stuck out - out of proportion to the rest of me. It’s just my shape. I have always been very sensitive and embarrassed about it - I even remember being embarrassed about it at kindergarten (I would have been 3 - hard to imagine). These days I am far more accepting of myself, and it isn’t really an issue (and it flattens out with lots of walking)
I have had people assume I was pregnant occasionally - when I was a school teacher I used to get “are you pregnant Miss?”
Robins last blog post..How To Find Happiness
Hi Stacey. I’ve never had children and I have a belly tendency.
I was asked once if I was pregnant… by a guy. I wasn’t bothered by it too much. But I’ve always been sensitive about my tummy. I once enrolled in a belly dancing class because I thought it might help. Instead my knees protested and I couldn’t continue.
My belly flattened to a certain extent after going on the gluten-free diet. But I suspect that since blogging over the last 4 months it has grown again. Unfortunately I have no excuse other than blogging.
LOL at your Seinfeld mention!
Davinas last blog post..A Ghostly Life Experience
stuck in a seinfeld episode
I had one of those when I was carshopping and NOT PREG.
awkward and yet I totally had to laugh.
had to.
MizFits last blog post..Thank you therapy or how to take a compliment.
@Vered –Yes, my little ones ARE WORTH MY BELLY! You would think people know about the NEVER EVER rule. I must have some sort of glowing birthing energy around me.
@Marelisa – I have learned to be even-tempered and have a good sense of humor about it because I know looking pregnant is a small price to pay for my wonderful children. It puts my life into perspective, but it’s still annoying to have a belly gravitating to the floor.
@Robin – “Out of proportion to the rest of me” – that sums up my belly too. I have heard of many different types of female body shapes (pear, apple, hourglass, etc). I never heard of anyone discussing the basketball-in-the-belly shape. Basketball-in-the-belly shape is not user-friendly when trying to find a great pair of jeans.
@Davina – I always had a “belly tendency” too. The difference now, is that people keep asking me if I’m pregnant. Before I had my babies, I think people just thought my belly wasn’t my strong point. Now they just think I’m pregnant.
@MizFit – Okay, I wasn’t going to mention it but I was car shopping last night and the salesman implied I was pregnant.
the good news is you have a fabulous sense of humor about it
WeightingGames last blog post..5 Ways to Master Your Emotions
Stacey,
My youngest is 14 - and I have spent YEARS defending this question. The thing is, I’ve exercised and dieted obsessively and no matter what, my stomach still sticks out.
I decided to see a plastic surgeon. When I opened my robe, he walked up to me and declared, “That’s not fat!”
Seems I have Abdominal Separation/Diastasis Recti. Surgery will repair this and crunches have actually made it worse. (Mine was the most severe case he’d ever seen.)
Now, if I can just pull together the $10K and three months off I need for the surgery!
http://www.befitmom.com/abdominal_seperation.html
Kathy @ Virtual Impaxs last blog post..Steps to Starting a Small Business: #2 - The Implementation
Wow. I cannot speak from experience on this one, and I also cannot believe you had that many incidences. I have to admit #1 made me chuckle “you can’t suck in a baby”. Editors on, people!
These are all judgment statements. And judgments occur when we don’t have accurate information, obviously.
Thanks for sharing - I’m sure you are not alone, but at the time of occurrence probably feel that way!
I haven’t experience these, but I had strangers came up and rubbed my belly while I was pregnant before. It was really awkward..
My wife is too old to invite that kind of comments but she does look pregnant. More peculiarly, I have a nice pot belly, and some of my friends poke fun at me by asking me how many months gone am I!
If you will allow me to rant, I simply have this to say. Our world has gone bonkers on the so called perfect look! This has happened during the last decade or so, and I suspect that the only people who benefit from all this brain washing are the people who are in some way connected with the weight loss and appearance industry.
I would simply ignore the world and get on with getting my BMI under control.
rummusers last blog post..A Magnificent Story.
Dear Lord, what are people thinking? I cannot believe they actually ask these things. How about “Nope, not pregnant. Not anorexic, either”? Seriously, wow! Manners clearly left the building awhile ago. I think you’re right: you’re definitely stuck in a Seinfeld episode!
Hi Stacy!
Wow that would bug me too. I actually asked someone once years and years ago and ever since then I just am careful. And haven’t made a mistake since then. Right now when I look at myself I think I look pregnant ah about 5 months… I ‘ll take it off I always do though its been harder the last three years.
Jeeze if you ever want some bellybuster exercises or yoga ones. email me…I have been studying yoga for three years and danced most of my life.
Oh and keep that glow about you will you it definately shows in all your photos. You do glow and I for one say your a beautiful lady!
Short of getting a big tatoo or a shirt yelling “I’m Not Pregant” whatcha gonna do?
I must say the South Beach Diet 2 week jumpstart did shrink my belly fat a lot.
But why should you have to diet? Joke those people if they can’t take a .. a you know what.
Jannies last blog post..Caught red-pawed!
I have to tell you this is the funniest thing ever. I mean it’s not but it is. I started laughing from the moment I saw the title of this post on Barbara’s blog. You know I never understand why people do that–or the strangers that just walk up to pregnant women and start palpating their stomach and feeling for the baby kicking. I don’t think anything could be more awkward, but it still happens.
My friend at work actually got so tired of people asking her when her baby was due that she decided to lose forty pounds. She just threw a fit one day and was like “that’s it!”
I have to admit I’ve been in some awkward medical situations when you aren’t sure for certain if someone is pregnant or not and have to ask “So when was your last menstrual period?” and they reply “Oh you just thought I was just really fat–no I’m six months pregnant!”
Thank goodness most women tell you right away. But women should also never assume their doctor or nurse knows they are pregnant for this exact opposite reason. lol
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Ive never been accused of being pregnant, but I was babysitting once and went to the store and some lady came up and started lecturing me about how its a shame my child wont be raised in a proper household. I promptly rubbed my stomach and said maybe Ill find the baby for my next one. She looked horrfied and walked away.
I think its more telling of the askers character to be so forward and rude than it is of the body of the askee.
Kelly Turner
http://www.groundedfitness.com
Grounded Fitnesss last blog post..Healthy Eating, Disordered Mind?
Stacey, I am sorry to laugh but some of those are pretty darn funny. I don’t know of any circumstances were my wife has been in this situation and I try and keep my mouth shut when it comes to a woman’s weight or age. Anyway, congrats on weight watchers and reaching your goal weight!
Dave Jones, CPAs last blog post..I Pledge Allegiance….
@Weighting Game – Yes, a good sense of humor is a must!
@Kathy – I also have an abdominal separation and all four of my doctors say “it’s not fat” and that surgery may be my only hope. Thank you for sharing your story.
@Stacey Shipman – I know, who says “you can’t suck in a baby”!
@BC – I had many people touch my belly too.
@Rummuser – Thanks for your rant. I agree it’s not about the perfect look. My next post is going to be about the health risks of having a “basketball” belly.
@Hip Mom’s Guide – When will it ever end! : )
@Diane – Thank you for your kind words. I’m in physical therapy now to build my core.
@Jannie – I love the t-shirt idea.
@Dr. Nicole Sundene – I’m glad I was able to offer you a good laugh. Thank you for sharing your experiences and insight.
@Grounded Fitness – I’m not sure why people ask me over and over again. It’s amazing.
@Dave Jones – Laugh! Pease join me and laugh at this ridiculous situation.
I seriously can’t believe you’ve had this so many times. Your stomach can’t be that big after 2 kids, can it? I had someone do this to me once when Bunny was a baby and she was utterly devastated when I said I wasn’t pregnant. Just horrified. I couldn’t help but feel bad for her. I was a bit rattled, but managed to shrug it off because I was a bit heavy and I was wearing a very unflattering outfit on a quick dash to the supermarket.
I do recall someone doing this to my aunt in front of me and my cousins when we were teenagers, and to make matters worse all us kids laughed. I feel terrible now. Imagine how she felt - double embarrassment.
Kelly
I’m amazed that you can share about your experience here and laugh at yourself!! While I do not have strangers coming up to ask me any awkward questions, I know that I need to reduce my waistline. So recently, I decided to work at it. I do not allow myself to have my dinner every day until I have done some sit ups. Within a week, I’m already getting good results!
Evelyn Lims last blog post..My Out-of-Body Experiences
@Kelly – This list is just the top of the iceberg. Someone refers to me being pregnant at least once a week (sometimes it’s many times a week). The 4 doctors I met with all say there is very little fat on my belly. It is baffling…if it’s not fat what is it?
@ Evelyn – I must laugh while recognizing all of the gifts in my life (including my health). My children are worth my basketball belly and that alone puts my stomach into perspective. Also, I am currently in physical therapy to strengthen my core and abdominal skeleton.
OMG, I thought it would never go away. The weight gain, the stress. But eventually it comes back to you but you’ve got to keep a positive attitude. Some people when they seem themselves that way, don’t know how to get back on focus. That’s when they lose it and feel the hole is too big and they can’t dig out.
@Female Enhancers - Having a positive attitude and trusting the process is key!
I admire your positive attitude , it takes a strength of character and spirit for that you have my admiration. And theres nothing to be gained if you have a negative outlook in yourself , keep up the good work.
@Dino - I have to stay positive and keep looking forward!
I am not pregnant and have looked pregnant for years. I am 5′6″, 135 pounds and wore a size 8 people would ask me if I was pregnant. Recently, I gained weight and I am a size 10 and look even more pregnant. I stopped drinking wine and went from an 8 to a 10 so I don’t think it was the wine causing my belly fat. I am scared I will not get a job because people may think I am pregnant.
@Sophia - I want you to know that your voice is being heard. I understand the frustration and you are not alone.
I want to let you know that you are not struggling alone. My twins are 19 months old and I still look about 5 month pregnant. Many people have asked me if I was expecting again. I even had an exercise instructor stop me before we did abdominal work because she thought it would be bad for the “baby”. I was told that I have diastasis recti and would have to have it surgically repaired. I know it is that along with fat (I was 119 now I’m 145) and a large fibroid. Just know that you aren’t along.
@NeeNee - You are not alone either! This blog receives so many hits from other women who google for things like “Why do I still look pregnant”.
Oh gosh, I really relate to your post. I am 27 years old, I’m 5′6 an weight 125. I have always had a very round little pot belly but is seems like as soon as I turned 26 people started accusing me of pregnancy. I had a lady in the drug store recommend a certain sun screen for my non existent baby and then ask me when I was due. I have had sales ladies tell me that a particular outfit hides my baby bump well, and I have even had a homeless man apologize to me for asking for money from a pregnant lady. So over the summer I lost 15 pounds (I was 140) in the hopes that it might help but it seems like I get at least 2 accusations a month, and I am getting sick and tired of it. When I told the last two that I wasn’t pregnant they have even pointed out that I have a round tummy that sticks out. Unfortunately I have never been pregnant so it just makes me sad.
I am 42 and my youngest is 17 years. I have been asked at least once a month since having my 3 children. I have a fat belly that’s all. Why are people so rude?
Cora – Round tummy women must unite! You are not alone and I recognize how frustrating it is to receive these types of comments from total strangers.
Coreen – I am also asked at least once a month if I am pregnant. I have no idea why people don’t just assume I have a big belly. Maybe we simply have a special glow about us!