Your Ability to Fly

by Stacey / The Mom Renewal Project on March 5, 2009 · 30 comments

photo credit: MrClean1982

photo credit: MrClean1982

I went to Weight Watchers early this morning and am happy to report that I lost 2.4 pounds this week. Hopefully by next week I will have lost the other 1.4 pounds that I gained during my paradise vacation. Yes, I gained 4 pounds while I was balancing beach coma and french fries. During my Weight Watchers meeting, the leader read a powerful story to the group. When she was done reading the story the first thing I wanted to do was run home to share it with all of you.

May you embrace your struggles and enjoy your ability to fly.

Once a little boy was playing outdoors and found a fascinating caterpillar. He carefully picked it up and took it home to show his mother. He asked his mother if he could keep it, and she said he could if he would take good care of it.

The little boy got a large jar from his mother and put plants to eat, and a stick to climb on, in the jar. Every day he watched the caterpillar and brought it new plants to eat.

One day the caterpillar climbed up the stick and started acting strangely. The boy worriedly called his mother who came and understood that the caterpillar was creating a cocoon. The mother explained to the boy how the caterpillar was going to go through a metamorphosis and become a butterfly.

The little boy was thrilled to hear about the changes his caterpillar would go through. He watched every day, waiting for the butterfly to emerge. One day it happened, a small hole appeared in the cocoon and the butterfly started to struggle to come out.


At first the boy was excited, but soon he became concerned. The butterfly was struggling so hard to get out! It looked like it couldn’t break free! It looked desperate! It looked like it was making no progress!

The boy was so concerned he decided to help. He ran to get scissors, and then walked back (because he had learned not to run with scissors…). He snipped the cocoon to make the hole bigger and the butterfly quickly emerged!

As the butterfly came out the boy was surprised. It had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings. He continued to watch the butterfly expecting that, at any moment, the wings would dry out, enlarge and expand to support the swollen body. He knew that in time the body would shrink and the butterfly’s wings would expand.

But neither happened!

The butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings.

It never was able to fly…

As the boy tried to figure out what had gone wrong his mother took him to talk to a scientist from a local college. He learned that the butterfly was SUPPOSED to struggle. In fact, the butterfly’s struggle to push its way through the tiny opening of the cocoon pushes the fluid out of its body and into its wings. Without the struggle, the butterfly would never, ever fly.

Butterfly in Flight

photo credit: Christine

If you feel comfortable, please share what you are struggling with in the comments section. By sharing your struggles you are no longer alone. May this be a space for us to share, comfort, and learn from each other.

I am struggling with the reality that I live with two young boys that can now talk back to me and to each other. I struggle with remaining calm as they roll their eyes at me and tease each other to the point of screams and tears. Oh…the joys of parenthood.

Note: There are many version of this story. I found this version here.
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1 Robin March 5, 2009 at 5:39 pm

Huh! I was just thinking about doing a post centred around a butterfly, with a beautiful picture – yours is gorgeous!

I think you are quite right about our struggles helping us grow – I know it was because I was so lonely and unhappy many years ago that I went “all out” to heal myself, and discovered a whole world of healing in the process that has helped me go further than my wildest dreams (actually, I don’t think I had any wild dreams, then)

Lately, I’ve been struggling with some health issues that have sent me running off to a new workshop, which has opened up new possibilities.

Robin´s last blog post..The Journey, With Brandon Bays

2 The Journey Within March 5, 2009 at 7:41 pm

Hi stacey,
Wonderful story with beautiful pics. The story is telling the truth that many sutras and book are unable to convince us.
I recall one saying ” The experience what you are feeling now is the best gift given to you by existence for your evolution”.
Thank you for reminding us the stories.

The Journey Within´s last blog post..Jalauddin Rumi and His disciples

3 Daphne March 5, 2009 at 7:54 pm

Hi Stacey,

This version of the butterfly story is very well written! I’m struggling with eating less at the moment – I’m at home a lot and tend to munch and eat too often!

Daphne´s last blog post..How To Write A Personal Creed

4 Stacey / Create a Balance March 5, 2009 at 8:00 pm

Robin – Thank you for sharing your story of struggling and emerging into a world of healing. I acknowledge you for finding new possibilities in the moments of your struggles.

The Journey Within - In the moment of struggling, it is hard to see that the best gift is the feelings you feel in the moment. I’m feeling and listening and learning and yet recognize it is a very challenging lesson to learn.

Daphne – Thank you for sharing your struggle.

5 JB March 5, 2009 at 8:30 pm

Wow. Great story. My struggles at present have been financial. Everything in my life collapsed when my parents died in 2006, leaving me with an estate that has yet to close, no job, and savings that have been diminishing. Wrapping my head around grief as well as the limiting beliefs about money and success that put me here has been a challenge. But I’m confident that I’m finally moving forward into my Highest Good, and that my chrysalis is nearly open.

JB´s last blog post..Oh, As IF—and, How Do You Deal with Fear?

6 Evelyn Lim March 5, 2009 at 8:34 pm

Beautiful pictures you have selected to go with your lovely post.

Congratulations about having great results on your weight loss!! I’ve been hoping to get back to doing a sport. I’m getting bored with going to the gym. I need to get off my butt for some exercise and active fun!! My aim is to having a toned waistline. It’s been quite a challenge!

Evelyn Lim´s last blog post..What Are The Akashic Records?

7 Lance March 5, 2009 at 9:24 pm

Hi Stacey,

My struggle: Time. Or maybe better management of it. I’ve felt myself falling further and further behind the past couple of weeks.

And Stacey – I understand the struggles with parenthood. This too shall pass. And…you are not alone…

Lance´s last blog post..Be Yourself, Share Freely

8 Stacey / Create a Balance March 5, 2009 at 9:45 pm

JB – I hope you are able to visualize the bright beautiful wings that you are currently developing!

Evelyn – I hear you. It would great if I could play tennis 7 days a week. It is something I love and I’d get a good workout in the process. What sport would you play?

Lance – You are also not alone with your struggle with time management. It is a gift to have so many interests and it is a struggle to fit them all into a 168 hour week. I hear you say you feel further and further behind. Are you open to reframing your timeline?

9 LisaNewton March 6, 2009 at 12:26 am

Great story. Balance is what I struggle with everyday. I have too many things on my plate and not enough hours in the day. But, each day is getting a little better as I tackle small issues which in turn, help the bigger ones.

LisaNewton´s last blog post..Texting and the Sand Box

10 Glen Allsopp March 6, 2009 at 2:48 am

Congrats on losing the weight, ans for sharing that great story. I’m currently doing the opposite, I’m currently on a mission to gain weight :) (Taking a photo each week for something to look back on)

Cheers,
Glen

Glen Allsopp´s last blog post..The Most Inspiring Video You’ll Watch This Year

11 BOUCHRA March 6, 2009 at 4:52 am

Wonderful story.I do like it.It summries how one should react to all problemes of our daily life.Thank you Stacy.your are great.

12 Stacey / Create a Balance March 6, 2009 at 7:04 am

Lisa – It helps me to visualize how I ideally would like to spend my time versus how I am actually spending my time. After I do this exercise, I can identify small action steps to realign how I spend my time. I think the key here is creating small action steps.

Glenn – I recognize when you need to gain weight it is as much of a struggle as it is for us who want to lose weight. I wish I would have taken a photo every week during my weight loss journey. Great idea!

Bouchra – Ah yes, it would be wonderful to fully embrace this perspective. I hope knowing this wisdom will help people reach a sense of healing sooner rather than later.

13 Lance March 6, 2009 at 10:43 am

re: reframing my timeline? I’m not exactly sure what this means. Are you saying I should look at when I want to get things done – and be okay more fluid dates? Something else? Other thoughts?

Lance´s last blog post..Be Yourself, Share Freely

14 Stacey / Create a Balance March 6, 2009 at 12:05 pm

Lance – By reframing I’m wondering if you are open to the perspective that you are not behind schedule. Perhaps you are exactly where you need to be.

15 Jay March 6, 2009 at 12:14 pm

Great story- I struggle with this as well. Take more time to be happy with your 2.4 lbs before you worry about next week. You will drive yourself crazy. Great Job!

Jay´s last blog post..A Picture Paints a Thousand Responses- Life Coaching Continued

16 Jannie Funster March 6, 2009 at 8:50 pm

I did not realize that about butterflies, that they need to struggle to get out.

Me, struggling a bit with my weight too, but it’s just 8 lbs. Now that I’m older I find I have to exercise twice as much as before to feel toned too, oh joy oh bliss.

Trying not to struggle with my music at all, as that’s counte- productive to the natural flow of good energy.

Hang in there with Mommydom. You’ll shine through!

Jannie Funster´s last blog post..Seriously Weird!

17 Stacey / Create a Balance March 6, 2009 at 9:10 pm

Jay – Thank you for reminding me to be still with my celebration instead of jumping towards my next goal.

Jannie – I didn’t realize that either. It really makes me wonder what we are meant to struggle with to enter the next level of enlightenment. I only have 8 pounds to lose too and they are just as hard to lose as any other number of pounds.

18 Lance March 6, 2009 at 9:19 pm

Thank you Stacey!

“Perhaps you are exactly where you need to be.” — reading this, it’s like a weight is being lifted. I’m not sure it’s the answer, although it feels good. It feels right… And it’s like I’m hearing something that is so basic, for the very first time…

I’m not sure where exactly this is going. I do know that it is making me think about where I’m at and maybe it’s exactly right. For that, Stacey, I am so so thankful.

Lance´s last blog post..Be Yourself, Share Freely

19 Stacey / Create a Balance March 6, 2009 at 10:01 pm

Lance – I’m happy to hear that it feels like a weight is being lifted. Enjoy the freedom of your new perspective.

20 Stacey Shipman March 7, 2009 at 7:32 am

I recently heard this story, I don’t remember where, but I loved it. thanks for sharing here.

I live with a lot of discomfort simply because I’m constantly evolving, trying new things. Sometimes that discomfort gets tiring…I struggle with wanting just a bit of consistency vs the constant growth. But then I think about how boring that could be. And decide that a walk on the beach is the rest and consistency I need and that helps me push through the evolution!

Congratulations on your weight watchers success!

21 Hilde March 7, 2009 at 10:26 am

Hi there ! I have heard the story before and was quite impressed by it. Honestly, I need to say that I do not like the idea that you need to struggle to get somewhere. I push the idea away. Maybe it remembers me too much about the message that ‘relegion’ gives about the necessity of pain and sorrow in order to fully appreciate and feel the happiness.

I must admit that I do not really know how to place it ?! I understand though that it helps people pass difficult times. For myself I know that the stories that talk about what’s possible beyond your current difficult situation help me, focussing on the good or the better to come instead of the struggle you need to go through to get there. : )

‘Goal of life is to live in a constant state of celebration or gratitude’ – whatever situation you’re in. I am sure that this feeling is more about myself than about the story : ). Thanks Stacey for reminding me the story…

Hilde´s last blog post..Give yourself permission to shine …

22 Sara March 7, 2009 at 2:47 pm

Stacey,

I have heard this story before and I like the message. I think we all have times when we struggle and that these struggles help us learn. When we were kids, just learning our ABCs was probably somewhat a struggle, but most of us persisted so we could move on to the next lesson.

Right now, I’m struggling with the aging of my dog. She’s losing many of senses at the same time. Currently, she’s almost completely blind and has difficulty with hearing. Even her sense of smell isn’t what it used to be. She handles this pretty well…it’s me who struggles when I see her get confused about where she’s going. I know it’s part of getting older, but it is hard to watch.

Sara´s last blog post..Online Dating: The Rejection Letter

23 Stacey / Create a Balance March 7, 2009 at 8:20 pm

Stacey Shipman – I related to your comment. Lots of people I know live in a state of content as I am on a constant growing journey. Someone recently asked me if I’d like to take a drink of some of their water. It sounds tempting, but like you, I wonder how boring that could be.

Hilde – Hi! Thanks for being part of the Create a Balance experience and for sharing your perspective. For me it’s not about religion. Losing weight and eating healthy, for example, is a struggle for me. Perhaps the struggle is more of a reality of the peaks and valleys in life.

Sara – Yes! It is currently a struggle for my 2 year old to embrace the potty. I can’t wait until he can move on to the next lesson. I can hear the compassion in your “voice” about your dog. Your dog is fortunate to have you in her life.

24 Henie March 8, 2009 at 4:08 am

What a great story to springboard from!

I am struggling with soon to be transition of becoming an empty nester. I can’t believe that soon, my son will be off on his own to pursue the dreams he holds in his heart and soul. (sigh!)

Give me two young boys anytime…to re-live my son’s youth would be remarkable! :~)

Henie´s last blog post..Guess The Photo Charity Contest (12for12k)

25 Dragos Roua March 8, 2009 at 4:39 am

Superb metaphor. The value of the life you enjoy is a function of the effort you put in the process of creating it. Thanks for sharing, i didn’t know that story :-)

Dragos Roua´s last blog post..Average versus Exceptional

26 Jennifer March 8, 2009 at 11:55 am

Love this story! I am struggling with the fact that I am getting older and am beginning to look back on my life with some regrets for things that I didn’t do, and because of where I am in life now (mom, wife, full-time job, etc.) I can’t really do. I am trying to put those regrets in perspective and also learn from them so that I do not regret my NOW in ten more years. Part of me feels very sad and angry about the things I never did but wish I would have, and a (smaller) part of me feels excited that this realization will help me live a more authentic life from now on. This is my struggle.

27 Mindful Mimi March 8, 2009 at 4:19 pm

Stacey,
Just to let you know that your online retreat button and link are not working…

Mindful Mimi´s last blog post..The next thing to saying a good thing yourself, is to quote one — Ralpho Waldo Emerson

28 Stacey / Create a Balance March 8, 2009 at 9:21 pm

Henie – I am appreciating all of the craziness that comes with having two young boys and recognize time goes fast. May you also continue to pursue the dreams in your heart and your son goes off to explore his.

Dragos Roua – I’m hearing you say the more effort you put into your life the more you can enjoy life. Thanks for the thought provoking comment.

Jennifer – I want to acknowledge you for learning from your feelings. Perhaps you can slowly be working towards some of those things on your list.

Mimi – Thanks for letting me know.

29 J.D. Meier March 8, 2009 at 11:30 pm

Poor butterfly … maybe it just needs a Redbull or the right mentor?

Great story and I like the point about growth. Resistance is growth. Pushing against the weights makes us stronger.

I think it’s easier to push forward when you know you’re on the right track. I think that’s the key. That’s why I think feedback and learning loops are so important.

Great post.

J.D. Meier´s last blog post..Why Your Talents are Enduring and Unique

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